“I can’t breath without you. But I have to.”
– Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillat, Breath
I took a few days to make sure my mom was okay. Dahlia, however, needed to go back. She flew out to meet them in Minneapolis, and my plan was to fly out a week later to Vegas, where we would be performing more than once.
After Dahlia left, Tyler took it upon himself to make sure that I was mentally stable enough to not go insane. Normally, the fact that my best friends thought I was crazy would have pissed me off. But nothing had seemed to go my way, and it was nice to have him around.
“Hey,” he said, letting himself into my house one evening. I was sitting at the kitchen table, my phone in hand, thinking about Larry. I still hadn’t called him back, or listened to his messages. I knew it was wrong of me. But it hurt too much to even think about him, let alone hear his voice. “You really should call him back,” Tyler said, sitting across from me. I sighed and nodded.
“I know,” I said, turning my phone over and over in my hands.
“You really care about him don’t you?” he asked, smiling slightly. I felt tears welling up, so I just nodded. Tyler reached across the table and took my hand.
“I know it’s hard, Bee. But if he really cares about you too, you can make it work. Love doesn’t know distance,” he said. I looked up at him, and chuckled through the tears.
“That was really deep, Ty,” I said. Tyler rolled his eyes and dropped my hand.
“You would ruin this moment…” he said playfully. I wiped my face.
“I’m doing exactly what Dahlia did to Laurent,” I said with realization. Tyler raised his eyebrows.
“And what is that?”
“She pushed him away so that she wouldn’t have to deal with missing him. I know she cared about him, and he was so good to her. But she refused to talk to him before he left. She was trying to avoid getting hurt. Sometimes I think she made the right decision,” I said. Tyler shook his head.
“I don’t. If you have something that good, why give up on it? Just because you’re going to miss each other sometimes?” he asked. I just nodded because I knew he was right. I wasn’t ready to give up on Larry. I needed him. I needed him to help me get through what was happening in my life. And I wanted to be there when he needed me.
“You’re right…” I said. Tyler smiled, loving that I admitted that he was right. I rolled my eyes, and checked the time on my phone. “But it’s already after midnight in Paris. I guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow.”
“Bee, you better not back out,” Tyler said warningly. I smiled, thinking of Larry. Thinking of hearing his voice. I didn’t feel any hurt thinking about it anymore. Instead I was eager. I wanted to talk to him more than ever. Well… what I really wanted was to let him hold me. But talking to him was the second best thing. I just grinned, thinking of him.
“Trust me, I won’t.”
* * *
I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in a while. The sun was shining through my window, and I knew that once I talked to Larry, I would feel better about everything, and be able to get back into the groove of being on tour. I pulled my messy bed-head up into a high pony, and made my way downstairs, wearing a t-shirt and my pajama shorts. I went to pour myself a glass of orange juice, finding a note on the fridge from my mom.
Just went out for a little walk. Didn’t want to wake you. Be back in a while. Don’t worry.
I sighed, not sure how I felt about her walking around on her own in the heat after her accident. I sat down at the table with my orange juice. It was around 4 p.m. in Paris, so I figured it was probably a good time to call Larry. I pulled my phone out, and dialed his number, butterflies filling my stomach. After each ring I got more and more anxious for him to answer.
“Hey,” he said, in his smooth French accent, causing all the feelings that I had for him to rush into my heart. But the sound didn’t come from my phone.
***All “Once In A Lifetime” stories are written by Les Twins fan Cara Ford.