“I can see now, that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever. Whoever she may be.”
– All Time Low, Remembering Sunday
“Bee, obviously something is going on with him,” Dahlia said.
“Yeah, he just doesn’t want to be around me anymore,” I said pathetically, sniffing. Dahlia looked at me sympathetically and shook her head.
“I really don’t think that’s it. There has to be something else. You want me to ask Lau?” she asked. I shook my head.
“No. I want Larry to talk to me about it himself,” I said stubbornly.
“As if on queue, there was a knock on our door. I quickly wiped the tears from my face, hoping my eyes weren’t too red. Dahlia opened the door and Josh walked in. My heart fell. I had really hoped it was Larry coming to apologize and explain himself.
“Josh… I don’t ‘think now is a good time,” Dahlia said, glancing at me and looking nervous. Josh ignored her and came over to me.
“Bee, I need to talk to you,” he said. I wanted to just ignore him, but I couldn’t help but hear the urgency and sympathy in his voice. I looked up at Dahlia, but she just shrugged her shoulders. I turned back and looked at Josh.
“Are you okay?” he asked, obviously noticing my puffy eyes and tear-stained face.
“No. What do you want?” I said, harshly, making to clear that I would listen, but we still weren’t friends again.
“Bee…” he said, swallowing. “Larry and Laurent are leaving the tour,” he said, looking at me as if he thought I would self-destruct. I just sat there, my heart in my stomach.
“Josh, that’s not funny,” Dahlia said folding her arms across her small body. Josh shook his head.
“I’m not joking,” he said, sadly. I knew he wasn’t sad that they were leaving. He was sad because he knew we were going to be. It was enough to make me reconsider being so harsh towards him. But I was still too busy trying to make sense of his words.
“H-how do you know?” I asked quietly.
“Tasha told me…” he said. I winced at her name, the ghost of a sting fluttering over my cheek.
“How doessheknow?” Dahlia asked. Josh looked down at his feet.
“Laurent…” he said cautiously. Dahlia’s faced turned bright red.
“WHAT?!” she yelled angrily, but I heard the hurt behind the anger. “I have to talk to him.” She stormed out of the room, letting the door slam behind her.
Josh bent down in front of me, putting his hand on mine. I didn’t pull away, mostly because I couldn’t make my body do anything but sit there. I felt numb.
“Are you okay?” he asked. He sounded sincere, but there was only one person I wanted around me in that moment. And it wasn’t Josh.
“Can you just go?” I said, my voice barely audible. Just just stood up slowly, and walked out of the room, letting the door click behind him without saying a word.
I had a feeling that if Dahlia was going after Lau, Larry would soon find out that I knew.
I’m not sure how long I sat there before the knock on the door came. I rose sowly, making my way towards the door. I opened it, knowing he would be behind it, and there he stood, looking amazing and so familiar that I felt a pang in my heart.
“Merde,”he said, seeing the look on my face. “I’m sorry,” he said. I broke down, and if he hadn’t wrapped his arms around me, I had a feeling that my legs would have given out. I wanted him to come in and tell me it wasn’t true. That Josh had heard wrong, and we still had another month and a half together. Larry practically carried me into the room, sitting on my bed and holding me in his lap. He rested his chin on the top of my head.
“Shh…” he cooed soothingly, petting my hair gently. We stayed like that for a while. I didn’t want to move from his arms. I didn’t want him to say anything. But I needed answers.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, not moving away from his arms.
“I was hoping it wouldn’t happen,” he said. I swallowed hard.
“I thought you were being weird because… I thought you didn’t want to be with me anymore….” I said. Larry moved me off his lap and sat me next to him, looking into my eyes.
“Never,” he said, his accent making me melt. I sniffed.
“What happens with us now? What happens when you’re gone?” I asked, choking on ‘gone.’
“Distance ne changera pas la façon dont je ressens pour toi,” he said softly.
“What?” I asked, not even angry that I didn’t understand him, because it sounded so beautiful.
“Nothing changes,” he said, kissing me. I let myself believe him, and allowed my body to melt into his.
All “Once In A Lifetime” stories are written by Les Twins fan Cara Ford.